The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

Today was the first day of the Model UN debates. I'm a part of my chapter's club, and we debated world affairs issues relating to humanitarian, economic, and politocal happenings. I'm saying this to say this: I'm starting to find that a lot of youths are now taking part in advocating, educating themselves, and realizing the importance of what happens around us on the global scale. With the revolution in Egypt, the protesting, and the unprecedented acts of solidarity, we saw the youth really stand up for their interests.

I hope that the acts of the Egyptian people will be an inspiration for people who live in oppressed countries, and democratic states to really get together and realize we are all connected. The examples of unity that I've seen from the Egyptian people and the people around me has truly been an inspiration.

With that being said, I'm taking a little mini break from social media for a little. Jut to clear my mind, and think about things. I rarely update this blog, but I frequent a few social networking sites that I usually purposefully abstain from using to test my willpower. I may update use this site to document things, though.

WDYWT

So, like I promised myself, I went to church today. I missed everyone and they were happy to see me, so I'm actually gong to be hanging out with a few members on Friday. Progress, it's lovely.

Rambling

- I want to get into doing make up again but I don't have a camera, so that seems pointless to me. I had the money to get one awhile ago but, as always, I prioritized and decided it could wait.
- I guess you can say I'm going through my "fuck school" phase right now. I'm not a bad student nor do I hate school, I'm just really annoyed by all the unnecessary things I have to cover that are unrelated to my interests.
- It's a funny thing when you realize you're turning into the opposite of what you imagined as a little girl. I've turned into the tofu eating-natural hair wearing-extra conscious-peace and blessings to all kinda girl, and I couldn't have it any other way. I'm really starting to realize that everyone is not going to like the positive changes you make it in your life, but as long as you see growth in yourself, people's opinions will always be secondary.
- I'm trying to make a conscious effort to detox myself from a lot of the things I've grown accustomed to. For example, I want to curse less. Try different kinds of foods, incorporate more blazer and boots into my wardrobe, you know, trying to change it up.
- I haven't been to church in awhile. I could blame it all on the snow that's been falling over the weekends, but that'd be a lie. Honestly, I don't know where I stand right now spiritually, but I'm going to make an effort. So, I'm going to church tomorrow.
- Lately, I've been having a lot to write about, but I've been really lazy when it comes to writing. I just feel drained, like I've said all of this before. Again, I'm going to make an effort to write more frequently on here.
- I'm actually going to cut this list short. I'm tired. I finished The Five People You Meet in Heaven earlier. It was a good read, a lot of quotables. I'm typing this so my nude nail polish will finish drying.

Potential To Love

On the surface, a lot of people might think I thrive off logic and bluntness. However, I'm a really spontaneous, romantic. Although I think everyone should be self-sufficient, I think it's a beautiful think to get to know someone, and later form a bond with them. It's different when you're getting to know a platonic friend, but when it's someone you're attracted to, it's completely different. I love texting throughout the night, I smile when I receive cute texts, I get butterflies and all the cute things you dreamt about when you were a little girl.

Someone once told me: "I didn't know you could be so lovable." That comment always stuck with me. I sometimes feel like people don't see us in our entirety, so assumptions are made. Even then, all the affection I was giving out wasn't to my full potential. I have so much to give to whoever is willing to form a bond based on respect, mutual interest, and affection. I have never been in love, but I have been in intense like. Sometimes, I smile at the thought of how it will be when I find out I'm in love. I'm such an intense person. I imagine everything will be ampilified: taste, smells, vision, anger, everything.

A lot of times I see women trying to come off strong as steel. There's nothing wrong with being weak in love. Some barriers are needed but we shouldn't close ourselves off, leaving us void when the right person comes along. When you find someone who compliments you, love wholeheartedly. Put down all your defenses, and discover your potential.

Mini Rant - Mall Shopping

I recently went to the mall to get more winter clothing, and it was a big disappointment. Honestly, I don't buy a large amount of clothing at the mall. I feel like stores that sell designer brands for sell, are better when you're buying more than one piece. Nevertheless, I went to the mall about a week ago to find some winter essentials. I was very disappointed, all I left with were two pairs of jeans. I've recently lost a substantial amount of weight, and I was excited to buy new clothes that would compliment my smaller self.

I went to all the stores that are usually a starting point for everyone: Macy's, H&M, Forever 21, and JCPenney. After being in the hot, humid Macy's for about an hour and a half I got frustrated. Here was the biggest department store in the whole United States, and I couldn't find anything. It wasn't even a matter of my size; I searched through the clothing in all the various sizes, and everything looked so drab and lifeless. There was barely anything with structure, and the material was just disheartening. After looking for a while, I left Macy's with two very nice pairs of Jeans; Everyone needs jeans in their wardrobe. But, what are you going to pair jeans with when you have no tops?

I didn't have better luck in any one the stores listed above. But, the store that disappointed me the most is, H&M. I mean, that's always my go to place, but that day, everything looked like pieces of rags. I tried to find something that could be versatile but that was a failure. I know, nowadays, a lot of people like online shopping, but I like the physical shopping experience. I like slipping on the clothes, feeling the fabric on my skin, and my feet crying in agony after a long day of browsing. There's that missing component in online shopping.

I think I'm going to stick to stores like Marshalls and outlets from now on. Marshalls is especially good for finding nice pieces for a good price. When I think of it, the clothing offered in Marshalls is way better than the selection I see in the mall. I think, as of late, the mall is just a lot of hype and is used as a marketing ploy, rather than a place where you can actually shop.

Exposed Zipper

I'm looking through past outfits I've worn, and I noticed I never posted this. I wore this in the summer, and I really enjoyed it. It was nice and sexy. I loved the exposed zipper and the nice kind of tribal designs. It had that kind of rustic look, but yet very feminine. I paired it with a pair of black studded flats. I'm wearing no make-up here, it was beyond hot, and make up and heat doesn't mix too well.

Summertime

I miss you with a fierceness that cannot be explained. I miss having conversations for a whole day. I miss getting a couple hours of sleep between 1-3 a.m., seeing his text message(s) and texting him to see if he was still up, and then going back to sleep stubbornly. I miss waking up for work at 6:45 a.m. and having all the energy in the world. I miss older women asking me for fashion advice in the skinny jeans section of the store. I miss smiling all the time and having people ask about me because of it. I miss chillin’ on my roof for hours, eyes low, the sun burning my skin, and sweat forming at the crease where my arm meets my forearm. I miss the sun illuminating my legs for the first time; finding beauty marks I never knew existed. I miss meeting new people. I miss lunches at P. F. Chang’s with my homegirl. I miss having conversations with her where I would trade breasts with her in return for some “Ms Fat Booty” ass. I miss going for jogs in the historic neighborhood. I miss feeling the beat of music pulsating through my temples. I miss being in Jamaica and talking to all the people I grew up with. I miss the trees, air, food, attitude, beaches, weed tea, beauty, and most of all, my family.

Dear Summer, you were so good to me. I feel like I haven’t properly addressed you yet. I miss you because it was the first time my mental age was reflected through my physical self. I learned that it was okay to get into some shenanigans. It was the first time I truly lived. I pushed buttons, and almost crossed the line, but I won’t take any of it back because that’s when I was happiest. And now, it’s cold. December winds and rain don’t conjure up the same sentiments I had for you, Summer. And I’m left asking myself: Am I the only one who feels this way? Your ultraviolet rays did something to me.

Dear Summer, I miss you, you’re coming back, right?