Mini Rant - Mall Shopping

I recently went to the mall to get more winter clothing, and it was a big disappointment. Honestly, I don't buy a large amount of clothing at the mall. I feel like stores that sell designer brands for sell, are better when you're buying more than one piece. Nevertheless, I went to the mall about a week ago to find some winter essentials. I was very disappointed, all I left with were two pairs of jeans. I've recently lost a substantial amount of weight, and I was excited to buy new clothes that would compliment my smaller self.

I went to all the stores that are usually a starting point for everyone: Macy's, H&M, Forever 21, and JCPenney. After being in the hot, humid Macy's for about an hour and a half I got frustrated. Here was the biggest department store in the whole United States, and I couldn't find anything. It wasn't even a matter of my size; I searched through the clothing in all the various sizes, and everything looked so drab and lifeless. There was barely anything with structure, and the material was just disheartening. After looking for a while, I left Macy's with two very nice pairs of Jeans; Everyone needs jeans in their wardrobe. But, what are you going to pair jeans with when you have no tops?

I didn't have better luck in any one the stores listed above. But, the store that disappointed me the most is, H&M. I mean, that's always my go to place, but that day, everything looked like pieces of rags. I tried to find something that could be versatile but that was a failure. I know, nowadays, a lot of people like online shopping, but I like the physical shopping experience. I like slipping on the clothes, feeling the fabric on my skin, and my feet crying in agony after a long day of browsing. There's that missing component in online shopping.

I think I'm going to stick to stores like Marshalls and outlets from now on. Marshalls is especially good for finding nice pieces for a good price. When I think of it, the clothing offered in Marshalls is way better than the selection I see in the mall. I think, as of late, the mall is just a lot of hype and is used as a marketing ploy, rather than a place where you can actually shop.

Exposed Zipper

I'm looking through past outfits I've worn, and I noticed I never posted this. I wore this in the summer, and I really enjoyed it. It was nice and sexy. I loved the exposed zipper and the nice kind of tribal designs. It had that kind of rustic look, but yet very feminine. I paired it with a pair of black studded flats. I'm wearing no make-up here, it was beyond hot, and make up and heat doesn't mix too well.

Summertime

I miss you with a fierceness that cannot be explained. I miss having conversations for a whole day. I miss getting a couple hours of sleep between 1-3 a.m., seeing his text message(s) and texting him to see if he was still up, and then going back to sleep stubbornly. I miss waking up for work at 6:45 a.m. and having all the energy in the world. I miss older women asking me for fashion advice in the skinny jeans section of the store. I miss smiling all the time and having people ask about me because of it. I miss chillin’ on my roof for hours, eyes low, the sun burning my skin, and sweat forming at the crease where my arm meets my forearm. I miss the sun illuminating my legs for the first time; finding beauty marks I never knew existed. I miss meeting new people. I miss lunches at P. F. Chang’s with my homegirl. I miss having conversations with her where I would trade breasts with her in return for some “Ms Fat Booty” ass. I miss going for jogs in the historic neighborhood. I miss feeling the beat of music pulsating through my temples. I miss being in Jamaica and talking to all the people I grew up with. I miss the trees, air, food, attitude, beaches, weed tea, beauty, and most of all, my family.

Dear Summer, you were so good to me. I feel like I haven’t properly addressed you yet. I miss you because it was the first time my mental age was reflected through my physical self. I learned that it was okay to get into some shenanigans. It was the first time I truly lived. I pushed buttons, and almost crossed the line, but I won’t take any of it back because that’s when I was happiest. And now, it’s cold. December winds and rain don’t conjure up the same sentiments I had for you, Summer. And I’m left asking myself: Am I the only one who feels this way? Your ultraviolet rays did something to me.

Dear Summer, I miss you, you’re coming back, right?

What Now

I think I've neglected this blog long enough. I mean, during the Spring and weeks leading up to Summer, I had so much inspiration, but now, I'm camera-less and I don't really know what to do with this blog. As of late, there has been a lot of venting, but I don't want this to be a place to discard all the bad stuff. I dislike being unhappy, because so much of my time is spent being optimistic, so I feel like sadness defeats the purpose of being happy.

Anyway, I never really meant for this to be solely a beauty blog. It just so happened that at the time I was really into fashion and make up, I still am, but now to a lesser degree. I started this blog to share things I like, document thoughts, and just talk about day-to-day things, mostly for future reference. I want to look back and see growth in myself: spiritually, emotionally, physically. Some wonderful things have been happening to me as of late, but unfortunately, the bad moments have overshadowed those things. It's time to start sharing and talking about them.

In the mean time, I'm going to do a make up tutorial this weekend. If you look at the first page of my blog, you see some make up looks. I think they are easy, and I use products that are a affordable. A few of them might be a little pricey, but they are good. I'm not sure how the tutorial itself will go, because I don't have one of those fancy $900 cameras (I'm going to use my webcam), but I hope, with good lighting, it will turn out decent.

I'm back, guys. Hello. What did I miss?

I just need to write something...
There is so much frustration in me right now. I feel like I'm going to burst. I do so much for people around me, but my actions are never appreciated or reciprocated. My mother is the one who is quick to say I'm selfish and self-centered, but I'm the one who is keeping everything together! I help her with her finances, I babysit, I clean, I sacrifice my time for self for her and the family but I'm always the bad guy. Sometimes I just want to say fuck it. But, I'm always trying to find ways to keep things together. Every time I say I'm done, guilt always bring me back. I don't know when to quit because I'm working with people who cause me so much pain, but we have that blood tie.

I'm tired for being blamed for things that have nothing to do with me. Anytime I need something, it's always a problem. The smallest things turn into an argument. If I'm standing a certain way it's a problem, if my facial expression is a certain way it's a problem. Everything is a problem. I'm tired of being sick and tired. I work, I get good grades, I haven't done anything to dishonor the name of my family. I haven't given them any reason to not be proud of me. Yet, the things I do go unappreciated.

Like right now, my mom just had one of her fits, and her anger wasn't directedt to the person who should have got it, instead, I get all of it.

Sometimes I just want to leave and not come back. I try so hard to remain positive and optimistic, but what's the good in trying so hard to improve things with people who are so uncaring.

Deep Blue Sea

I did this look before, a while ago actually, but during the summer I made some changes to it. I used my Urban Decay Primer Potion, which really the best primer out for basing the eyelids when using bright colors. I like this one better than the first time. Plus, the lighting is better than last time.

*I'm wearing two different tank tops because I couldn't decide which one to wear that day. I'm so indecisive.

Playing catch up.

I didn't know that not blogging for a couple months would throw me out of the loop so much, but it has. I'm trying to catch up on all my favorite blogs and such. I know that I haven't been posting any creative content as of late but my camera has seen the end of its days. It met with the parking lot of Best Buy's and haven't been alive since.

I need that camera to take OOTD pics or makeup photos. I have the money to buy a new camera but you know how it is when money is just sitting around. Or maybe that's just me. Now that I think of it, I haven't been wearing much makeup. I usually just wear a bare face with mascara, liquid liner, and lip gloss. I like creative makeup looks but I haven't been doing much of that lately. It mostly has to do with a lack of inspiration and time.

School is making it increasingly hard for me to have a life, nowadays. But I can't really see it any other way. School is my number one priority. Anyway, I guess the main point of this is: I'm trying to get caught up with everyone's blog, so bare with me.

By the way, Iza is currently doing a blog giveaway. So scroll over there (http://theiza.blogspot.com/?zx=f56509d5d806c4d9, I don't know how to link on blogspot, :() and enter. It's easy. Just post a comment with some facts that no one would know about you from reading your blog, your email, and of course you have to follow her blog. Okay, bye for now, loves. The creativity will start flowing again.

Big Chop

I know that I've been M.I.A for a very long time now. I never expected this hiatus to be so long. A lot has happened. From starting my job to going on vacation to working on some needed self-improvements. Over the course of these few months I've come to a lot of realizations. Learned a lot and decided to try new things.

Something new that I did was get the Big Chop. This was after more than a year of transitioning back to my natural hair. Inches of my hair have been chopped off, to reveal my natural curls, kinks, and waves. I'm loving it. This is not to say that everyone approved of it. My mother does not like it. I'm hoping that she'll come to like it but I'm starting to convince myself that her harsh opinions shouldn't stop be from appreciating this huge step that I've made.

This is a big change for me. Nevertheless, it's a welcomed one. I'm in the process of finding different styles to experiment with. So, this is the now.

EOTD: Arabian Nights

I like this makeup look because it reminds me of the exaggerated Arabic eye makeup. I did layers of different colors. I loved the pinks and purples. I put the gold into the mix to attract attention to the crease. I had to pack the colors on because pinks and purples are hard to show up on skin, especially brown skin tones. I did a exxagerated cat eyes to add drama. I didn't use my Urban Decay Primer for this one because I finally got it today and I did this look yesterday. I'm so excited to use the UDPP, it's suppose to be the best primer around. I want to do an actual makeup tutorial but I need a tripod and I don't think my camera or webcam video quality is even that great so I'm kinda restricted in that area.

What do you guys think, does anyone want a makeup tutorial? Maybe I'm just tooting my own horn.

Products used:

*Victoria Secret Palette in Closer
*Black Radiance Palette in Desert
*Prestige Kohl Liner
*Black Radiance Liquid Liner
*Maybelline Great Lash Mascara
*Claire's Palette
*VS Primer

OOTD: Shreds and Chains

Today was my last day of school, it's really exciting. My friends and I decided to take an impromtu trip to the park. We basically pranced around like we were two years old. My super cute top is from Forever21. I was actually very surprised that I found something in there that could fit me. It's a shredded see through, lightweight material that has chains links across with a string of faux pearls. I love it. I paired the top with my gray cardigan. My jeans I'm not sure how I feel about them, my thihgs are thick so they fit perfectly around the thigh area but sag a little in the front. I guess because my hips are smaller. I finished the outfit with flat sandals because today was a casual day. What do you guys think? Are you thinking about rocking the shredded look this summer?

Cardigan: Macy's
Shredded Chain T-Shirt:Forever21
Jeans: JCPenney
Faux Silver Embellished Sandals: H&M
Silver Studs: Forever21

Swimsuit Woes: Overcoming Your Fear

Everyone knows the temperature is soaring and with that comes the obligatory trip to the beach, pool, or water park. This is then followed by major anxiety over what should be worn and problem areas that need to be covered. Maybe it's only me but I use to have a major fear of donning a bathing suit. Just the thought of everyone would looking at me would just send me into panic mode.

I remember it vaguely but clearly at the same time, it was 5 years ago at the Six Flags in Massachusetts. Six Flags is a Amusement park/ water park. The place is humongous. Thousands of visitors go through the park daily. I digress but the point is back then I use to have horrible self-esteem. I would constantly compare myself to others. Before I got to the water park I started getting emotional, I saw all the women around and saw how their bodies look compared to mine and I just started crying. I was a blubbering mess. My aunt and cousin looked at me like I had lost my mind. There across from the boat ride, I was almost having a panic attack. My aunt started to console me. She asked me what was wrong and I told her I didn't want to got to the water park. After much more hiccuping and sobbing I finally calmed down. My cousin gave me her pair of lime green shorts, I'll remember it those shorts forever.

Now that I look back at it, I want to be mad at myself but I can't. I was young then. I was a product of mass media who sold images to me that I bought into. Never should anyone breakdown at the water park because they don't feel pretty enough to enjoy themselves like everyone else. Yes it's swimsuit season and yes YOU should go to the beach, pool, water park and enjoy yourself. If you need a bathing suit look around. Eat before you go so you don't become overwhelmed. Know what works for your body. Mix and Match different pieces. Channel your inner fierceness, you know what works for you.

P.S. The first two pictures is me with my bathing suit top from when I went to the SAME water park yesterday. I didn't have a breakdown, I had fun and thought I was hot shit! Old Navy was allowing me to be fierce yesterday.

The second picture is me while I was in DC a few weeks ago. Yes I have a pouch but who gives a damn. The whole get up is from H&M.

Everything is untouched, me in the flesh.

Lack Of Posts

I'm sorry guys I haven't been updating as much. I'm still alive and thanks to everyone who commented and started following me. Mucho love, xoxo. I need to start getting the word out about my blog. To tell the truth I'm kinda hesitant for my friends and family to know about my blog, I mean things I may discuss here when it comes to body image I may not talk about to everyone else. Knowing how some people I know are, they'll probably think oh she thinks she's the shit just because she has a "Fashion Blog." In reality this is just a blog where I discuss beauty, fashion, body image, and make up. This is a representation of the more girly side of me.

Anyways I'm getting off topic, in full I need to publicize my blog more. I hoping that I can do a new make up look in a couple of days. I'm suppose to get a package from Macy's soon with my Urban Decay Primer Potion. I can't wait! Also a outfit post will be coming up also. I've been really busy with school lately. My last final is tomorrow. Once school is done in a few days I'll have time to post more often.

Also click the Twitter icon on the top of my blog to follow my ramblings on Twitter. Stalk Me!

Thanks everyone for showing love,
xoxo

Neutral with an hint of metallic

Today I got really bored being productive so I decided to do a new look and this is what I got. I really like it. I used my VS primer but I'm still waiting for Urban Decay Primer Potion to get here. So excited. Products used:

Prestige Kohl Eyeliner
Great Lash Mascara in Black
Old eyeshadow pallette laying around
VS Primer

This whole look is pretty inexpensive. The most expensive item is the Victoria Secret primer. This is to show you can use inexpensive makeup and still look good. You just need to know how to apply it.

Put Me In A Dress

I haven't updated in a while, last week I was in Washinton D.C. for a four day mini vacation. I'd just like to say it was freaking epic! The city is amazing. So much to do. There was never a moment where I was bored. We saw all the sights and dined at some really good restaurants. It was pretty good. In these pictures I'm at the Roosevelt Memorial. His memorial has a lot of waterfalls so I thought it was the perfect place to take pictures. The sun was really bright so I'm squinting in one if the pictures.
Note: I really didn't intend to make an outfit post with these pictures so I wasn't camera ready. LOL.

What do you guys think?

Dress: JC Penney
Sandals: My friend's
Bandalino Jacket: Macy's
Nine West Clutch: TJ Maxx
Owl Necklace: Forever 21
Earrings: H&M

"Blame The Media"

We have to face reality that the media can really mess us up as consumers, especially women. The media tries to sell you things. Tells you what's normal and what's not. It has these high superficial standards of how women should look and how to attain those standards. I'll say that for a while the media really messed me up. I saw all these gorgeous women and thought "Damn I don't have that slim stomach," or "Why isn't my hair that color or length?" This was a time when all my insecurities where surfacing all at once. I know that I'm not the only one that has been affected by this. Then the turning point came when I just said F this. I can't reach those standards. That's completely unrealistic. This is the body I have and I have to embrace it. Now you might think that I completely despise the media but I don't, I think the usual accusation to "Blame the media" is a cop out. Yes the media is at fault but it's time to liberate ourselves

I agree the media has a large negative impact on our society. But we are the ones that allowed it to become so big. We became so fascinated with it that we continued to fund it, we wanted more. We buy the magazines, the products, glamor over the images all the while constantly comparing ourselves. It's time for us to say I will be the one to determine that I'm beautiful. I won't let the TV or magazines determine my worth. I am the only one that can do me like me and I have realize my own beauty.

After all that's said I then wonder how can we expect more from this advertising giant. How can we expect it to raise our kids and set an example when its job is to manipulate us into thinking their norms should become our norms. Shouldn’t parents and other individuals make a conscious decision to use their own logic. Especially parents who have kids looking to them for answers. Why should the media take the blame for their irresponsibility to do better. Blame the media all you want, just know that it will never be an heaven of morals and logic. All we can do is try to change who they advertise but the message will probably never change.

The media is not the place to go to ask if you're beautiful. The person to ask is yourself.

What do you think? Should all the blame be directed to the media? Or does the blame lie with us? or Neither?

EOTD: Strawberry & Chocolate Swirls

I recently stopped by Victoria Secret and picked up two items from their refurbished make up line. I got an eyeshadow quad in Closer and also their Lasting FX Eye shadow Primer. I liked the results. It kinda remind me of Swirls of Chocolate and Strawberries. Please excuse my eyebrows I'm in the process of growing them out, so they're kinda treacherous right now.Very compact colors and they are long lasting. One con I have is you have to kinda pack it on. I used:

VS Eyeshadow Quad In closer
VS Lasting FX Eye Shadow Primer
Black Radiance Fine line Liquid Liner
Prestige Waterproof Kohl Eyeliner
Maybelline Great Lash Mascara

Simplicity+Elegance=Chanel

Recently I've been obsessed with Chanel. She is truly inspiring. Her elegant simplistic pieces are just genius and they continue to live on. She was just an embodiment of fierceness. My nails are an ode to the artistic genius that is Coco Chanel and also because tomorrow is a special day and I wanted to be fabulous. I like the design, it's simple and classic just like Chanel but I think they need to grow on me. What do you think? Is it too simple or is just ehh? feedback please.

Night Lurkers

My friend and her boyfriend so adorable.


So yesterday was my friend's "surprise" birthday party. I had no idea they where going to do a party for her. I also had no idea what to wear so I just threw this together. Thought I'd share. Some of these items I already gave info about them. lol yes I know repetitive.

Leopard print Leggings: Macy's
Grey Cotton Tunic: Sears
Floral Headband: H&M
Black Flats: Marshall's
Bow Earrings: Vintage

Beyonce (Why Don't You Love Me)

I have to say this video surprised me. It's a very different creative side from Beyonce's team. This video is so fabulous. I don't have the words to articulate how creative it is. It's classic 40/50s glam. The pinup look is very chic, from the exaggerated cat eyes to the wavy up dos. Very Nice. I also love the vintage grainy footage of the video. The nail polish that she used in the video is Chanel Nouvelle Vague very similar to my China Glaze "For Audrey" nails. China Glaze is way cheaper but still fab. It's a deeper shade of turquoise though.

What do you guys think of the video? Do you think it's in any way offensive?

Floral Mania

I'm really making an effort to incorporate floral prints into my wardrobe, Especially dresses. I've gone to stores and looked at their dresses and prints but I was kinda disappointed. I did however like a black maxi dress with a bold larger floral print. I liked it but not enough to buy it. I like sweetheart cuts and the exposed zipper look. I'll probably pair a dress when I find it with sandals and a cardigan. I'm however going to use these two pictures above as inspiration. Btw Leighton Meester is the one sporting a more causal floral look. I like the versatility, a day look or more dressed up for the night. The last piece are from Forever 21. I'm of course going to put my own spin on things, I don't want to end up like my grandma Bernice ( May she rest in peace. I'm excited. Am I the only one scared of floral prints?

Play in Boston

My laptop is being fixed right now so here I am using my brother's. On Friday a couple friends and I went to Boston to see A Mid Summers Night's dream. It's a two and a half hour drive from home. It was a more semi-casual setting so I didn't get all dressed up. The Play was okay. Only the last part was funny though. But anyways here is the outfit that i wore. I didn't have anyone to photograph me so the pics are sectioned off lol. I hope you guys don't mind.


Black weaved flats: Marshall's
Love Tee: Old Navy
Bandolino Safari Jacket: Macy's
Dark Washed Straight leg Jeans: Old Navy
Bow Earrings: Vintage Jewelry Store
Bangle: rainbow Boutique
Over sized Floral Headband: H&M

*** Sorry guys I'll try to find someone to take my picture next time***

Party It up!

These are pictures from my friend's party on Saturday. I've been meaning to post these but with my laptop getting a virus it's been hard (I'm currently posting from the desktop). I really like this dress. The empire waist and Bubble hem really caught my eye. Fun and playful. My favorite part is the lightening of color on the dress: black to dark metallic purple to light gray and then silver. I think it's really playful. I'm kinda mad I wore my stupid pullover. What the hell! I took it off when I started dancing but I didn't get any picture without it :(.
I have a love hate relationship with dresses. I usually get so overwhelmed looking for dresses. But not this time. Why? you make ask and the simple answer is: I went to a store that I knew would have my size. Going to a store that I knew didn't carry my size but still trying to be hopeful usually frustrates the hell out of me. I found my dress in literally 20 minutes. I wanted it simple and this was perfect. I had so much fun at the party, the most fun I had in a while. What do you guys think?


{Dress: Dressbarn} {Shoes: Dots boutique} {Earrings: Forever 21} {Pullover Shawl: JCPENNEY}

Turquoise Waters (China Glaze "For Audrey")

I usually get my nails professionally done but sometimes I like to remove the polish they applied and do them myself. I love polishes, I have a basket filled with almost every shade imaginable. Then it comes to my favorite brand and the prize goes to *drum roll*: China Glaze. I absolutely love their nail polishes. Their colors are so vibrant, luxurious, and the application is so smooth looking. My favorite shade is "For Audrey" a lot of people say the inspiration for the color is from Tiffany & Co. Whatever the inspiration I love this color. I hype it all the time and anytime I wear it I get tons of compliments. It reminds me of the turquoise shades in ocean water. When I wear this color I feel like I can conquer the world. Amazing how nail polish can make you feel this way.

Lavender in the Spring

I've gotta start posting my outfits of the day more often. This outfit is actually two weeks old. I know I'm horrible, but I wanted to share. I also need to start posting more often. I've been busy with school and sports but in a couple weeks I'll have more time to post regularly.

I wore this on Easter. I liked the top, it has very subtle stripes, I know everyone says stay away from stripes but I'm like NOOOO!. lol. I paired the rather fluffy top with my structured Pencil skirt. This skirt is starting to be one of my favorites, The faux belt is the perfect touch. My wedges are Aerosoles, practical and cute. They have these really cute eyelet detail. For the eyes I used matte colors, sometime I don't like the shimmery, sparkly tones. Of course I applied liquid liner and mascara, simple.

[Cap sleeve blouse - Macy's] [Pencil skirt - Sears] [Eyelet Wedges - Tj Maxx]