A lot of people my age are dealing with horrible self-esteem. I know what that feels like. I used to compare myself to other women all the time. I learned about self-acceptance and progressed. I still have my unavoidable days when I'm not feeling the greatest about my physical self. However, I have come across women who have a downright unhealthy perception of their body. I try and reason with them but it doesn't soak through. I am not a professional, but I try my best. It's really bad when someone not only hates their body but their face. I don't know, man, but women who lack proper self-esteem turn into mothers who project their insecurities unto their daughters. It's a continuous cycle. I wish I knew how to combat this.

Setbacks

A week ago my dad left to Jamaica to oversee some work on the house that him and my momma are building. When I went to Jamaica a couple months ago, the house was well underway, taking shape, and evolving into what my parents envisioned, my dad especially. Early Friday morning my dad calls my mom and says that 25-30 bags of cement has been stolen from the foyer part of the house. My mom was of course devastated because they've both been putting a lot of money into the house. We don't know if it's one of the construction workers who tipped off the thieves, or if the thieves are one of the workers, or if they saw the materials when they were being unloaded. These men came during the night. When my dad and his family heard the ruckus when they were driving off, they signaled folks in the neighborhood to block the roads, but the thrives ended up taking a different route.

If all of that stress wasn't enough, the thieves came back last night hoping to steal more of the bags of cement. All the dogs in the neighborhood started barking and everyone woke up. Luckily, my dad boarded up the storage area this time. These thieves are determined. It's especially scary because my family's home house is literally a yard across from the construction site. These people are brazen and it's disgusting to think folks are willing to steal from their community.

My family is from a rural area and police is twenty five minutes away if you drive fast. Consequentially, folks are left to fend for themselves a lot. Thefts and robberies are nothing new to any part of Jamaica. Some of my people are downright violent. I pray that my dad stays safe and comes home soon. I've been trying to keep my mom calm because the slightest unwanted news sends her into a worrying frenzy, her blood pressure gets dangerously high and it's downhill from there. Im praying that God watches over my family, that the materials will be put to use quick, and everyone remains safe.

I came back from Jamaica Sunday night after spending six days there. My mom's sister-in-law passed away two weeks ago, so we went for the funeral proceedings. My trip was good. Jamaicans mourn differently, we celebrate the person's life, rather than cry.

I'm back in school. I've spent most of this week making up papers and starting up clubs and activities. Life is good, I can't complain.

YSL and Bantu knots

I've been researching Ayurveda a lot. I'm incorporating elements of it into my hair regimen and hopefully it will extend to wellness. I henna'd my hair yesterday and followed with an indigo treatment. After, I did a bantu knot-out.






I splurged on Yves Saint Laurent lipstick in fetish pink from their rouge volupte line. I've been really into lipsticks lately. My order got to my house extremely fast. It took two or three days at most with regular shipping.

Fashion Africana

Ankara Fabrics are so lovely. There's an African fabric store close to me, I see a altered Kaba (West African dress) in the near future

Good to have her (Felicia) as a friend.

Soon after my return from Toronto my internship ended.

Initially, my nerves were threatening to derail me when I started. I knew I had gotten the job out of all the applicants for a reason; my application, interview, resume, and essay was thorough, but I was still nervous after I accepted the offer. I was the prototype and I knew I had to set the bar high. I was participating in a program that was named after one of the oldest and most influential partners in the firm that had passed on. So after continuous cups of chamomile tea the first week, I became more self-assured.

The exposure, interactions, and work I have done over the last weeks have been invaluable to me. I now know that I don’t have to tie myself down to one thing, I can really do everything that interests me. This has truly been a great summer for opportunities, and I am without a doubt thankful for all of them.



My first time trying red velvet at my farewell party. So good.