What Now

I think I've neglected this blog long enough. I mean, during the Spring and weeks leading up to Summer, I had so much inspiration, but now, I'm camera-less and I don't really know what to do with this blog. As of late, there has been a lot of venting, but I don't want this to be a place to discard all the bad stuff. I dislike being unhappy, because so much of my time is spent being optimistic, so I feel like sadness defeats the purpose of being happy.

Anyway, I never really meant for this to be solely a beauty blog. It just so happened that at the time I was really into fashion and make up, I still am, but now to a lesser degree. I started this blog to share things I like, document thoughts, and just talk about day-to-day things, mostly for future reference. I want to look back and see growth in myself: spiritually, emotionally, physically. Some wonderful things have been happening to me as of late, but unfortunately, the bad moments have overshadowed those things. It's time to start sharing and talking about them.

In the mean time, I'm going to do a make up tutorial this weekend. If you look at the first page of my blog, you see some make up looks. I think they are easy, and I use products that are a affordable. A few of them might be a little pricey, but they are good. I'm not sure how the tutorial itself will go, because I don't have one of those fancy $900 cameras (I'm going to use my webcam), but I hope, with good lighting, it will turn out decent.

I'm back, guys. Hello. What did I miss?

I just need to write something...
There is so much frustration in me right now. I feel like I'm going to burst. I do so much for people around me, but my actions are never appreciated or reciprocated. My mother is the one who is quick to say I'm selfish and self-centered, but I'm the one who is keeping everything together! I help her with her finances, I babysit, I clean, I sacrifice my time for self for her and the family but I'm always the bad guy. Sometimes I just want to say fuck it. But, I'm always trying to find ways to keep things together. Every time I say I'm done, guilt always bring me back. I don't know when to quit because I'm working with people who cause me so much pain, but we have that blood tie.

I'm tired for being blamed for things that have nothing to do with me. Anytime I need something, it's always a problem. The smallest things turn into an argument. If I'm standing a certain way it's a problem, if my facial expression is a certain way it's a problem. Everything is a problem. I'm tired of being sick and tired. I work, I get good grades, I haven't done anything to dishonor the name of my family. I haven't given them any reason to not be proud of me. Yet, the things I do go unappreciated.

Like right now, my mom just had one of her fits, and her anger wasn't directedt to the person who should have got it, instead, I get all of it.

Sometimes I just want to leave and not come back. I try so hard to remain positive and optimistic, but what's the good in trying so hard to improve things with people who are so uncaring.

Deep Blue Sea

I did this look before, a while ago actually, but during the summer I made some changes to it. I used my Urban Decay Primer Potion, which really the best primer out for basing the eyelids when using bright colors. I like this one better than the first time. Plus, the lighting is better than last time.

*I'm wearing two different tank tops because I couldn't decide which one to wear that day. I'm so indecisive.

Playing catch up.

I didn't know that not blogging for a couple months would throw me out of the loop so much, but it has. I'm trying to catch up on all my favorite blogs and such. I know that I haven't been posting any creative content as of late but my camera has seen the end of its days. It met with the parking lot of Best Buy's and haven't been alive since.

I need that camera to take OOTD pics or makeup photos. I have the money to buy a new camera but you know how it is when money is just sitting around. Or maybe that's just me. Now that I think of it, I haven't been wearing much makeup. I usually just wear a bare face with mascara, liquid liner, and lip gloss. I like creative makeup looks but I haven't been doing much of that lately. It mostly has to do with a lack of inspiration and time.

School is making it increasingly hard for me to have a life, nowadays. But I can't really see it any other way. School is my number one priority. Anyway, I guess the main point of this is: I'm trying to get caught up with everyone's blog, so bare with me.

By the way, Iza is currently doing a blog giveaway. So scroll over there (http://theiza.blogspot.com/?zx=f56509d5d806c4d9, I don't know how to link on blogspot, :() and enter. It's easy. Just post a comment with some facts that no one would know about you from reading your blog, your email, and of course you have to follow her blog. Okay, bye for now, loves. The creativity will start flowing again.

Big Chop

I know that I've been M.I.A for a very long time now. I never expected this hiatus to be so long. A lot has happened. From starting my job to going on vacation to working on some needed self-improvements. Over the course of these few months I've come to a lot of realizations. Learned a lot and decided to try new things.

Something new that I did was get the Big Chop. This was after more than a year of transitioning back to my natural hair. Inches of my hair have been chopped off, to reveal my natural curls, kinks, and waves. I'm loving it. This is not to say that everyone approved of it. My mother does not like it. I'm hoping that she'll come to like it but I'm starting to convince myself that her harsh opinions shouldn't stop be from appreciating this huge step that I've made.

This is a big change for me. Nevertheless, it's a welcomed one. I'm in the process of finding different styles to experiment with. So, this is the now.

EOTD: Arabian Nights

I like this makeup look because it reminds me of the exaggerated Arabic eye makeup. I did layers of different colors. I loved the pinks and purples. I put the gold into the mix to attract attention to the crease. I had to pack the colors on because pinks and purples are hard to show up on skin, especially brown skin tones. I did a exxagerated cat eyes to add drama. I didn't use my Urban Decay Primer for this one because I finally got it today and I did this look yesterday. I'm so excited to use the UDPP, it's suppose to be the best primer around. I want to do an actual makeup tutorial but I need a tripod and I don't think my camera or webcam video quality is even that great so I'm kinda restricted in that area.

What do you guys think, does anyone want a makeup tutorial? Maybe I'm just tooting my own horn.

Products used:

*Victoria Secret Palette in Closer
*Black Radiance Palette in Desert
*Prestige Kohl Liner
*Black Radiance Liquid Liner
*Maybelline Great Lash Mascara
*Claire's Palette
*VS Primer

OOTD: Shreds and Chains

Today was my last day of school, it's really exciting. My friends and I decided to take an impromtu trip to the park. We basically pranced around like we were two years old. My super cute top is from Forever21. I was actually very surprised that I found something in there that could fit me. It's a shredded see through, lightweight material that has chains links across with a string of faux pearls. I love it. I paired the top with my gray cardigan. My jeans I'm not sure how I feel about them, my thihgs are thick so they fit perfectly around the thigh area but sag a little in the front. I guess because my hips are smaller. I finished the outfit with flat sandals because today was a casual day. What do you guys think? Are you thinking about rocking the shredded look this summer?

Cardigan: Macy's
Shredded Chain T-Shirt:Forever21
Jeans: JCPenney
Faux Silver Embellished Sandals: H&M
Silver Studs: Forever21